


Need a goodnight kiss?

by LexiusNemean



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Akane is dead, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aoi has feelings, Childhood Friends, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Internalized Homophobia, No nonary game, discussions of grief and depression, mentally ill author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23387536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiusNemean/pseuds/LexiusNemean
Summary: Aoi threw off his covers, grabbed Junpei by the skull, and thrust their lips together in the roughest and most rushed kiss he could manage. Once he was satisfied with how painful crushing their lips together was, he shoved Junpei off his bed and ducked under his covers.“Goodnight, get the fuck out of my house.”
Relationships: Kurashiki Aoi/Tenmyouji Junpei
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Need a goodnight kiss?

Junpei and Aoi met each other through Akane, Aoi’s sister. When she passed away from illness during their last year of elementary school their relationship quickly went from begrudging acquaintances to pillars of support, and by junior high they were steadfast friends.

So it made sense to study together while they were in high school. They lived nearby each other, as childhood friends tended to do, so it was a convenient arrangement. And since neither one was very good at sticking to the books, it took all of their combined strength to keep each other focused on big exams.

“Hey Aoi, have you gotten to the third page of the math review yet?” Junpei stretched his sore legs; he had been sitting on the floor for an hour now, and it had yet to become comfortable. “This one problem with the exponents has me—hey!”

Turning to his friend in frustration, he found the other dozing in bed. “You said you wouldn’t fall asleep this time!”

“ ‘M not asleep… yet.”

Junpei gritted his teeth. “If you just sat on the floor, maybe the cold would keep you awake enough to actually study.”

“The problem with that,” and with this Aoi rolled so his back faced Junpei, “is that I’d be cold. Which I hate.”

Junpei stood up and walked over to the bed, grabbing his friend’s shoulder and yanking him back and forth. “Get up.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“You have to study.”

“Make me.”

Junpei let out a groan of frustration and sat down on the bed. For a while he frowned at the cover lump in thought, before a mischievous smile played across his lips. “Are you really that tired?”

“Tired of math. Tired of cold. Tired of your stupid voice interrupting my nap.”

Junpei sniggered a bit. “Do you want a goodnight kiss, then?”

“EUUGRAAAH!” Aoi jolted up, disgusted. “What the hell, Junpei?!”

“I thought I’d help you get to sleep, is all.” Junpei, still smirking, began leaning closer and closer while pursing his lips comically. “C’mere.”

“You’re disgusting!” Aoi jumped out of bed, scrambling towards his books. Junpei merely laughed and got back to studying.

  
The ‘goodnight kiss’ became a joke that Junpei would make whenever Aoi tried to take a nap during study sessions. It was annoying, but being teenage boys, it was also hilarious. There were times when Aoi was especially stubborn about getting out of bed, which usually resulted in Junpei climbing on top of him and trying to pry Aoi’s face from the sheets. It was stupid horseplay, and even when it didn’t always work as a motivator for studying, it was a nice diversion.

But there were some days when Aoi wasn't under the covers because he was cold or avoiding homework. When Akane died, he had some... rough times. Bouts of depression. Dangerous thoughts. It was hard the first few years, and it was only because he has Junpei to share his grief with that he had been able to get better. He was pretty stable now compared to junior high, but there were still hard days. Sometimes he’d feel depressed for absolutely no reason, and have to fight through the day until it passed.

He didn’t like admitting he had dealt with, or continued to deal with, depression. Depression made him feel weak and pathetic and worthless and he didn’t want to own up to it, especially now that he was a teenager. He was supposed to have moved on by now. It was one thing when he was a kid, when Akane’s death was recent, but now years had passed and Akane’s absence was supposed to be normal and _he_ was supposed to be _normal_.

But sometimes he didn’t feel that way. He felt too much, or barely anything at all, and it was exhausting to be around people and perform normality for them. And of course one of these times would be around midterms, because that was just his luck. When the hard day of school finally ended and Junpei accompanied Aoi to his room to study, Aoi immediately hopped on his bed and hoped that he could act naturally this time.

And for a while he was able to. He got out his books, voiced a complaint now and then, all the while fighting the exhaustion that came with pretending to be okay. Junpei’s presence was usually able to keep him out of whatever bad funk he was in (especially those terribly awful puns), but this time it was just… bad. It was a bad day.

When he just couldn’t concentrate anymore, he crawled under his covers and hoped Junpei wouldn’t bother him this time. He began to zone out, drifting away into a sea of thoughts that probably weren’t entirely healthy, waiting for it all to pass or Junpei to go home.

Just when Aoi’s breathing began to slow to something bordering on sleep, Junpei’s weight fell onto the end of his bed.

“That doesn’t look like studying.”

Aoi didn’t reply—he urged himself to block out Junpei’s voice, drift back to sleep, escape the stupid dark thoughts and wake up feeling like a regular human being. But Junpei was having none of it.

“Hey, get out of there and help me with this review sheet.” Junpei began playfully shaking him, effectively ruining any chances of getting to sleep anytime soon.

“Fuck off.” Aoi tried to put as much seriousness in his voice as possible, to clue his friend in that he really wasn’t in the mood. He was ignored.

“Hey, you aren’t the only one who wants to sleep! If I’m studying, you’re studying too.” Junpei reached under the covers and tugged on Aoi’s arm.

“I _said_ fuck off.”

And so began Junpei’s efforts to rip the covers off of Aoi, and Aoi’s efforts to keep the covers on. Instead of being fun rough-housing like usual, it only served to make Aoi more and more angry. He wasn't in the mood for this.

“Fiiiiine, you win! We’re wasting too much time.” Junpei finally released the covers, causing Aoi to fall roughly onto the mattress in a tangle of sheets. Junpei was the only one laughing at this. “But, if you want to sleep,” and then Junpei leaned forward, a stupid smile on his face, “you need your goodnight kiss right?”

Oh, he was _thoroughly_ tired of Junpei's bullshit. Aoi threw off his covers, grabbed Junpei by the skull, and thrust their lips together in the roughest and most rushed kiss in the history of goodnight kisses. Once he was satisfied with how painful crushing their lips together was, he shoved Junpei off his bed and ducked under his covers.

“Goodnight, get the fuck out of my house.”

For a few moments Junpei just sat on the floor, not moving. Each moment that Aoi didn’t hear the sound of Junpei walking out the door made it harder and harder for Aoi to keep calm. He didn’t want to think about what he had just done. He didn’t want to think about what Junpei was thinking, or what _he_ was thinking for that matter. He just wanted to be alone and drown in his misery and feel like shit for a while---was that too much to ask?

“...Aoi, what’s wrong?”

Apparently it was, because his lunkhead of a friend wasn’t moving. Aoi didn’t bother responding.

Junpei got up and sat on the end of Aoi’s bed—but lightly this time, delicately, not like he usually did. “What’s up?”

Aoi kicked him roughly in reply. A few times. Junpei stayed on the bed.

“Aoi?”

“Get the damn message and leave me alone!”

Aoi continued kicking until his feet only connected with air; Junpei had finally gotten off the bed. Aoi waited to hear his footsteps leaving, but the room was once again silent.

“...I’m gonna go, but if you want me to come back just say the word, okay? I’m here for you.”

After that Aoi finally heard the rustling of books being put away, footsteps cross the carpet, and the door softly shutting behind him. Aoi was finally alone.

Alone was good. It was so much easier to just feel with no one there to observe him. Now he was free to feel like garbage, or feel sad, or….just feel like having that depression nap. He decided on the latter, letting his eyes close again. He focused on releasing the tension out of his body, limb by limb, muscle by muscle, until he was finally relaxed.

It was a few hours later when he woke up, the colour long since having left the sky. It was pitch black in his room, and he took a few moments to vibe with the darkness as he slowly started remembering who he was.

Then he felt the stinging in his cracked lip and winced. He'd thrown quite the tantrum, hadn’t he? And with basically no warning, either. He owed Junpei an apology. Also, he kind of just wanted to see him again (regardless of how much shame he was probably going to feel).

He opened his phone and squinted at the blinding light of it, needing a few seconds for his eyes to adjust before typing out a text.

‘ _Feeling like a human being again_ ’ he sent. After a moment he added, ‘ _not a particularly functional human being, but I can tolerate people again. So u can come over again, if u want_.’

  
Junpei was back in his room 15 minutes later with hamburgers. Aoi hadn’t realized how starving he was until Junpei opened this door and the smell hit him. As soon as the food was in grabbing range he swiped a burger and started hurriedly unwrapping it.

“Can I have this?”

“What would you do if I said no?”

Aoi looked up from his burger, unable to keep the desperation off his face, and Junpei started laughing.

“Yeah, of course you can have it. I wouldn’t bring food just so you could watch me eat it.”

Aoi nodded in thanks before scarfing down his burger, inhaling the whole thing before Junpei had even gotten his third bite in.

“Wow, you were really hungry, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, apparently being a jackass takes a lot out of a guy.” Aoi crumpled up his burger wrapper, having already searched it for any remaining crumbs. He was midway through shooting it across his room to the garbage can when his expression changed. “Crap, I was supposed to start with the apology. Not hint at it after stealing your food.”

He turned to look at his friend, who had paused on his own burger to smile back. Aoi turned away and sighed. “Thanks, by the way. Not just for this, but for giving me space earlier. Even though I was an asshole.”

“It’s fine. I mean, I think I’m starting to bruise where you kicked me, but…” Junpei laughed again at Aoi’s face, “really, it’s cool. And thanks for asking me back over, I know it can be hard to let people see you when you’re feeling vulnerable. You look like shit, by the way.”

“Thanks. And you’re right, you have no idea how much this is hurting my pride.” Aoi finally let out his own laugh, a small, tired thing, before moving closer to Junpei. “Speaking of pain…” He gingerly touched a finger to Junpei’s lip, which was swollen and had a nasty split in it. “I really got you good, huh?”

Junpei, burger now entirely forgotten, froze at the touch. He was definitely trying to look at Aoi's hand, but it just made him look sort of cross-eyed. “Uh, yeah, ha ha...That sure hurt.”

Aoi smirked, not moving his hand. “Want me to kiss it better?”

Junpei’s eyes widened, and he couldn’t hold back an ugly snort. “Ha, haha, uh...you serious?”

“Assuming you joking about wanting to kiss me every day for the past year means what I think it means...Sure. I at least owe you something better than what I gave you this afternoon.”

He adjusted his hand so he was cupping Junpei’s cheek, more a caress than any kind of hold. He didn’t want Junpei to feel trapped. He knew normally this wasn’t something even he’d admit to wanting, no matter how amenable he was to the idea; he had stubbornness in spades, but his pride was already broken and Junpei was right, he was feeling vulnerable. He still felt so tired, so weak, and Junpei was a comfort he was allowing himself to ask for.

He leaned in, close but not going in all the way; he wanted Junpei to move that last inch, to prove he wanted this too. He didn’t have to wait long. Junpei rose up to meet him, soft and hesitant. It was so tender, so nice, but then one of them tried to adjust the kiss and they both pulled back in pain, laughing.

And for the first time that day, he didn’t feel like a sack of garbage given sentience. He didn’t feel despair, he didn’t feel like crap, he didn’t feel like a sister complex freak with a truckload of problems, he just felt...grateful.

And he felt the stinging in his hurt lip, but he went in for another kiss anyway because he was happy, because there was still something to be happy about. Because Junpei was there, and even though his lips were gross with burger grease he was _there_ and he put up with Aoi’s problems and he was Junpei.

Aoi pulled away again, grinning like an idiot. “Does it feel better?”

Junpei looked lost for a moment, as if he was trying to solve a particularly difficult puzzle, before he grinned back. “Uh, my lip is still definitely stinging, but that’s fine. You could always try again, though.” He paused a moment, smile retreating a bit, before adding, “How about you? Feeling better?”

Aoi nodded without hesitation. “Yeah, loads better. Help me cram for this midterm?”

“Ugh, can’t we just make out some more?”

Aoi laughed again and it was loud, energized. He felt alive again.

It felt good.


End file.
